being watched while being late

I'm always late. Ask any friend who sits alone at our meeting place for an extra ten minutes. Ask any dentist office, any doctor's office, any rehab therapist's office..... any Girl Scout leader...

Sometimes I offer an explanation. Other times, I shrug my shoulders and plaster a clueless expression on my face. I'm not clueless, though, so my acting skills have needed practice. "Am I late? Huh. Isn't that something?"

I've learned that being late can quickly become habit for certain events. Like Jessi's Girl Scout meetings. I don't remember arriving on time ONCE. And I never offered a reason. This activity was for Jess and Jess alone. It wasn't for Allen and Emma's little sister. It wasn't for Matt and Nick's big sister. Just Jess, so I didn't even take the other kids with me for drop off and picking up. They didn't know our back story because I didn't want the connection. I wanted them to see Jess for just herself.

I think, however, what they saw was some mom who couldn't get her act together.


I joked with friends that I must look like some crackhead mom who barely pulled herself off the couch to run her kid to meetings and then had to put down the booze when it was time to pick up her kid. True story: I was even late to the end-of-the-year ceremony! I vaguely remembered RSVP'ing for the day and time.....


Here's the thing: I have 5 children who all have schedules. My dry erase board in the kitchen is color-coded to help me stay on top of it all. Allen and Emma are very good at following me around the house about 15 minutes before we're due to leave saying, "Mom! It's time to go! Mom! We need to leave!" Jessi doesn't do this reminding act yet, but soon will be. Up until now, she's relied solely on me telling her when she needed to get ready, but those are lessons on managing time, being organized and being aware of what's going on around you that have been missed with Jess. We are working on these important lessons this summer, but kids learn from what WE do.....

My reasons for lateness on any given day can vary, but Nick is somehow involved usually. The child is demanding from the time his heels strike the wood floor above my head. He clomps down the stairs and sidles up to his breakfast stool. With his location goal met, he begins Act II: eating as slowly as possible in the hopes mom will leave the room and he can escape. He's always busted. Always, but he tries every single day....

For the most part, the morning routine stays the same. Yet, every day he tries to see if there's a loophole, like some fine print clause you forgot to read on your TV warranty. "Maybe, just maybe," I'd like to believe he ponders, "today will be the day I am not watched like a hawk. Maybe today I can play the guitar for an hour BEFORE pooping on the potty and brushing my teeth. Maybe TODAY IS THE DAY!"

Insert evil laugh or hopeful child squeal, whichever suits your personality better.

So, maybe, in some way, he gets the optimistic attitude from ME. Each day I start with hopefully attainable goals. Simple goals, "Get out the door on time", not like "Solve world peace" or anything.

Maybe today I won't be met with stubbornness, resistance, tenacity and shiny things (oh, look at that laundry I can start....). Maybe today I can get out the door on time. Maybe today I will be the perfect role model for my kids. Maybe TODAY IS THE DAY!

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